what if I told you nothing is wrong with you…

I have always felt like something is wrong with me. I recently, after reading many Instagram and Pinterest posts, have come to the conclusion there is nothing wrong with me nor you. All that we are is a result of surviving what we have been through. That is normal. Would you expect to come to a tidy, clean home after a natural disaster? It would be normal for that home to be broken down and a mess… so we as well… and as we recover and heal we become more whole, but it doesn’t take away our worth and value. We are a normal response to the abuse we endured. 

Part of my personal struggle is no one else admitting the reality of the abuse. I search the internet high and low for validation. Maybe my WP community and other sites are strengthening me to realize, this did really happen to me even if no one around me will affirm it, and where I am at in my life is typical… nothing is wrong with me… I just am stuck in a real world / fake world dichotomy because others in my life don’t acknowledge or cannot accept my real world….  My husband loves me so much he tries, and knows, but it is too emotionally hard to let it be real to him. So he forgets why I struggle each day… Some people cannot fathom the depths of what abusive people do to others and its consequences to the person on the receiving end… He wishes he could fix it. He hates seeing me hurting… so I have those that outright deny it and those that cannot handle it… that doesn’t make it any less real…. and what you went through, how it has made you today, it is normal… … you may be misunderstood, but you are not unloveable, you are not messed up…   …you may be in pieces, you may feel broken, but that is to be expected and that is everything right with you, not wrong with you…

…another thing I looked at (thanks to Instagram for suggesting introvertdear) for me personally is how personality traits of being introverted – society shuns like not talking enough, wanting to be alone rather than out with people, etc… reading her posts, I discover tons of validation for what is just a normal personality type that makes non-introverts uncomfortable.

I also discovered society wants everyone to be happy, happy, happy, and life isn’t that way! Or they want you to grieve in one day and move on…  Or they don’t just sit with you in your feelings but want to ‘fix’ them… (The, ‘what’s wrong?, so they can talk it out with you and give you an answer, to make them feel better and move on because your feelings make them uncomfortable)…

I love the posts on Instagram about not needing someone to fix it or give advice but to just silently sit with you and ‘be’ while you go thru it…  I don’t think I have ever met anyone in my life (besides my husband) that would put their arm around me, let me cry it all out, just nurturing the emotional healing… We really could use more of that in our society…



About kpaol

Hi! I love God, my husband, my kitty, photography & photoshop, blogging, & my wordpress community :)
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